


Ranboo Meets the SBI, Thrice.

by justpressX



Series: Sneaky Bois Inc., the mafia au that no one asked for [4]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Mafia AU, Mentioned Floris | Fundy, Mentioned GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo deserves more love okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:49:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28545888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpressX/pseuds/justpressX
Summary: "…Thank you…" he muttered, rising to his feet slowly. The realisation that he towered over the person by a lot made him relax. Lifting their head exaggeratedly to look up at him, they laughed as well, having noticed it too.Shaking the umbrella open, Ranboo stepped backwards into the rain, raising his hand up in a wave. He felt himself smile as the person waved back.--All he heard was a twang, and suddenly he was three metres from where he had been, so fucking dizzy.Then the bolt thudded into the ground to his left, and he stumbled and fell. Instinctively, he brought up his hands to shield himself, and a jolt of pain shot through his body.--"Fucking– ugh–" Muffled noises of frustration came from the living room. A loud clank followed, along with a much younger voice. "Uh oh, I need help!"The intruder paused, sighing. A dull clunk came as the figure kicked aside a fallen chair. Without looking back at Ranboo, he pulled a blond teenager to his feet. "Well done, idiot; now he's awake,"
Relationships: Ranboo & Wilbur Soot
Series: Sneaky Bois Inc., the mafia au that no one asked for [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078781
Comments: 14
Kudos: 402
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Guess what? It's raining. Yay. (Philza)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo hated the rain. And before you ask who hurt him, the rain did. So, he had every right to be upset when it rained, especially since he was trying to fix his awful sleep schedule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to Philza Minecraft, this chapter is the shortest :(

It was dark when Ranboo finally left the warehouse. Finally; that deal was both shady and took absolutely ages. Lingering under the sheltered doorway, his ears pricked up. The sound of countless footsteps hit the ground again and again enveloped him, light but increasing in intensity rapidly. He had no idea they were until he took a step out, eager to get home.

He leapt backwards immediately, hissing in agony. His arm felt like it was on fire, every droplet burning his skin. Ranboo had to remind himself to breathe, gasping and fighting the pain. Of course it had to be raining.

The sheets of rain, already heavy and pounding the ground like bullets, splashed onto his shoes, making him retreat until his back was pressed against the wall. His arm stung with every move he made, but at least the pain was lessening to a tolerable degree.

Well, it looked like going home was out of this question, then. 

Crossing his legs under him and sitting down reluctantly, Ranboo cursed himself for not bringing an umbrella. As the pain faded away, so did his panic and anger, leaving him with irritation. 

He folded his arms, more in frustration than anything else, sulkily watching the air ripple with raindrops. The fact that it was so late in the night served only to annoy him further. It would be ages before he could get home, and his sleep schedule was already bad enough. Curse the rain, the sky, and everything else.

The rain paused, then, just as he was beginning to hope that he could leave soon, it began again with fury, almost taunting him. And once again, he couldn't go home without dying in agony.

"Fuck you." He told the rain, glaring at it. "Seriously, fuck you."

A soft chuckle from above him. Jerking his head up, he saw a figure standing right next to him, their features hidden by the shadows. 

Ranboo scrambled to his feet, backing away and putting much-needed distance between the two of them. Seeing that, the person took a few steps away as well, pulling something out of their bag.

Wordlessly, they held out an umbrella, black in the darkness. Ranboo hesitated, his hand stopping inches from the handle. Who was this stranger, who would give up their umbrella to a random person, and who was Ranboo to trust them?

Granted, Ranboo didn't trust them very much, but he didn't have much choice either way. It wasn't like he could just refuse the offer and sit there forever. 

The person waited patiently, letting him think. Biting his lip in indecision, Ranboo reached out, and slowly took the umbrella. He held his breath, expecting the person to snatch it back, or worse, hurt him. 

"…Thank you…" he muttered, rising to his feet slowly. The realisation that he towered over the person by a lot made him relax. Lifting their head exaggeratedly to look up at him, they laughed as well, having noticed it too.

Shaking the umbrella open, Ranboo stepped backwards into the rain, raising his hand up in a wave. He felt himself smile as the person waved back.

Turning around, Ranboo started to walk home. The occasional raindrop carried by the wind still hit him, but the umbrella shielded him well. When the rain lessened and the light of his house approached, he realised that the umbrella was a light green. That comforted him; green was a safe colour – a calm, steady colour.


	2. Wait, how'd you know my name? (Wilbur)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter of the three, featuring Fundy, rich kid Sapnap, and sad George. The Blade makes an appearance too, and Ranboo gets a little bit hurt. And stolen from, too. What fun.

Whispers of The Blade had started up in the town again. Not that it mattered very much to him. He had much more pressing matters on his hands. 

Ranboo heard his phone ring; not a call, but an alarm. Fumbling to retrieve it, he switched it off with one hand. Sighing, he glanced briefly through the document in his other hand, shoving it away into an overflowing cabinet. 

He was dreading this negotiation. The client was… off, and despite being so obnoxiously rich, he refused to pay even the usual price for the house. This was the fifth meeting he had scheduled with him, and they were nowhere closer to an agreement. Ranboo was beginning to believe that his employer hated him. Oh, who was he kidding; they hated _everyone_ , they just hated him more. 

Well, it wasn't like he could refuse, could he? Ranboo groaned inwardly, rising to his feet. He couldn't risk being late, not if he wanted a chance to make the negotiation finally be a success – and maybe not die. 

He checked his watch; five minutes to go. Hurrying out, he turned a corner and instantly bumped into a man.

"I'm so sorry!" He rushed to apologise as the man, glasses knocked askew by the collision, stumbled backwards. Reddish-brown – almost orange – hair peeked out from under a sleek black hat, messy and ruffled. 

"You okay? I really need to watch where I'm going, god," The man muttered the last bit under his breath, straightening the gold cuffs of his jacket before looking up at Ranboo.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine." On any other day, Ranboo would have been happy to talk with him, but he really didn't want to be late. He tugged on his tie, clearing his throat. "Again, I'm so sorry, but I need to be somewhere if you would excuse me?"

Blinking, the man adjusted his glasses and looked at Ranboo blankly. After an uncomfortable pause, he nodded, seeming flustered. "Yeah, I'm so sorry! Of course!"

Ranboo quickly walked on. Behind him, he could faintly hear the man talking on his phone, "Yeah, yeah– mhm–"

Well, that was weird, but, with his patented Ranboo Luck™, the negotiation was even weirder. 

To start things off, the man – Sapnap, he called himself – was accompanied by another person, who looked like he had been crying. A lot. 

Then, when Ranboo once again reminded him of the price his client asked for, he agreed immediately. Ranboo would be happy, but he had spent five three-hour meetings trying to convince the stubborn man to agree to a price, and _now_ he decides to agree?

Nevertheless, Ranboo got the paperwork filled out quickly, and Sapnap signed it without hesitation. Maybe the other guy being there had something to do with the whole affair, he guessed. But he didn't get any answers, and the two of them left the second everything was sorted out, eager to leave.

Good riddance, Ranboo couldn't help thinking. Tucking the paperwork into a folder, he got up and left the room as well, relieved but at the same time confused. As he headed into the sunshine, he paused slightly.

The man he had bumped into was there again, this time with a pink-haired companion. Spotting him, the man waved at Ranboo. He waved back, and the other man suddenly raised a crossbow. What the hell?

All he heard was a twang, and suddenly he was three metres from where he had been, and _so fucking dizzy._

Then the bolt thudded into the ground to his left, and he stumbled and fell. Instinctively, he brought up his hands to shield himself, and a jolt of pain shot through his body.

Dazed, he lifted his hands and looked at them. Everything was spinning; a man was crouching beside him. His palm was bleeding, as was his knee. He blinked repeatedly, willing his eyes to focus. 

"Hey! Are you okay?" The man next to him was shaking his shoulder. Ranboo looked at him. Brown hair and a yellow sweater. He seemed concerned too, and belatedly, Ranboo realised that he hadn't responded.

"Not really, man; there's so much blood." He flexed his fingers experimentally, then tapped his knee. He flinched at the pain, but nothing seemed to be broken. "I'll heal, though,"

Wait, where was that– ah, nevermind. The man searched through a bag, pulling out some bandages. As he obediently held his hand out for him to tie up, Ranboo fumbled for his own bag, frowning as he noticed it was open. 

"Hey, uh– Can I have my papers back?" He asked, regretting it the moment the words left his mouth. Fantastic job, Ranboo, just ask a thief to give your stuff back, why not?

"Well, it was worth a shot," Surprisingly, the man passed the folder back, sounding sheepish as he did. He shrugged, tying the bandages tightly and holding out a hand to Ranboo as he got up.

"Wait, that worked?" Ranboo tucked the folder in his bag and accepted the man's help, climbing to his feet. 

The man smiled enigmatically and patted him on the shoulder. "See you, Ranboo."

"How did you know my name? Who are you–" He blurted out, but the man had already turned and left. It was only when he got home that he realised that his folder of documents – including Sapnap's information – was gone. Again. 

Before he could panic, however, a yellow sticky note caught his attention. Set on his table along with the folder, it was unmistakably from the man:

_It does seem unfair that I know your name but you don't know mine, so… it's Wilbur. As for how I know your name, well… I have my sources._

Yellow, huh? Such an innocent colour, young and charming. It fit him, in a strange and contradictory way.


	3. Technoblade? As in, The Blade? (Techno)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting almost killed, one might think Ranboo would be left alone for a bit. Nope. Two days later and he's waking up to some intruders in his house. And they've brought a sword, and… cookies?

He had thought, with all these strange happenings, that his bad luck would have been exhausted, for a while, at least. Apparently not; it took just two days for something else to happen.

"Shush! He's going to hear us!" Ranboo awoke to an urgent hiss, clearly not directed at him. Trying to be quiet, he peeked out of his room. It was still dark, but he could see the outline of a figure in the hallway, back turned to him. A braid of pink hair caught the moonlight before the person stepped away from the window. 

"Fucking– ugh–" Muffled noises of frustration came from the living room. A loud clank followed, along with a much younger voice. "Uh oh, I need help!" 

The intruder paused, sighing. A dull clunk came as the figure kicked aside a fallen chair. Without looking back at Ranboo, he pulled a blond teenager to his feet. "Well done, idiot; now he's awake,"

Shocked, Ranboo shrunk back into the darkness of his room. He heard twin pairs of footsteps approach his room. The man walked in first. The teenager, slouching but still taller than him, hovered outside, peeking in through the doorway.

"Look, I'm not going to hurt you," the man held his hands out, setting his sword – holy shit, he had a _sword_ – down. He stayed a distance away from Ranboo, obviously trying not to scare him. 

Abruptly, he whipped his head around to glare at the teenager. "Tommy, you are the worst," he stated incredulously.

"What?" The teenager – Tommy – laughed, sounding guilty even to Ranboo. He held his hands behind his back, hiding them from view. The man strode over and wrestled something out of his hands. Ranboo was acutely aware of how the man unhesitatingly turned his back to him, relaxed and unafraid. 

The man held up a tray of cookies – wait, cookies? – with a look, disappointment evident. "Phil made these!"

Tommy shrunk away from him, laughing nervously. A bit of chocolate was smeared across his cheek, and Ranboo wondered how, exactly, had he done that. "Aha– no no no, ha! Technoblade, Techno– aha ha–"

"Technoblade? As in, The Blade?"

The Blade let out a long, aggravated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. Tommy halted his rambling immediately, amusement and fear battling on his face as he looked towards Ranboo.

Tossing a braid of pink over his shoulder, The Blade turned to face him as well. Ranboo tensed, unsure what to expect.

"Right, I apologise; this _child_ here–"

"Hey!" 

"This _absolute moron_ has eaten more than his share of the cookies, which was none. Sorry about that; Phil wanted us – well, just me, probably – to make up for attacking you the other day." He sounded just as awkward, not looking at Ranboo. 

Only then did Ranboo make the connection between the mysterious pink-haired man two days before and the man standing in front of him. 

"Wait, that was you– oh yeah, that was definitely you. What the hell, dude?" 

The Blade shrugged unapologetically, setting the half empty tray of cookies on his dresser. Beckoning to Tommy, he told Ranboo, "We needed some stuff on Sapnap, and you had that. Let's hope I never see you again, Ranboo."

He grinned, climbing onto the windowsill. As Tommy clambered down, he slid off the sill and fell to the ground. A flash of pink whipped past and then he was gone. 

Ranboo took a bite from one of the cookies, his other hand raised in a wave. 

Pink was an unpredictable and chaotic colour, wasn't it? Just like The Blade. Granted, it was also a soft colour, but maybe The Blade had a sweet side, who knew.


End file.
